They’re happy…i should be happy for them…but instead i feel alone…i pushed her away but i’ve never made bigger mistake in my life (and i’ve made A LOT of mistakes). With each passing day i fall more and more into darkness. I see them hugging every day wishing it were me…i hate it…i hate being smart, i hate being a geek, i hate being single, i hate being silent, i hate being nice, i hate that just hearing you say hi makes me feel better, i hate that i’ve only hugged you twice in the two years i’ve known you, i hate it all. But most of all hate being in love with you…i hate this feeling…i tried so many times to get away from you and this accursed website, but that only made the feeling grow and i can’t take it anymore…I love you and i hate it…you’re complex and simple at the same time, you can turn any bad day around with a smile, you’re nice, you’re beautiful, and i can’t stand it any longer. I can’t compare with him…he’s better in every way (even his dick apparently)…”sigh” i give up…